Today’s guest is Beth Jones. Beth experienced abuse in childhood until she left home at age 17. The abuse “colored” everything in her life, resulting in many broken pieces. She was looking for love, authentic love, and finally found it in Jesus Christ. Now His love and forgiveness “colors” all she does and today Beth will share her powerful story with us.
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SHELLEY. Welcome back to the Broken Crayons Still Color podcast! I’m your host, Shelley Hitz and today’s guest is Beth Jones. Welcome Beth.
BETH. Hi! Shelley. Thanks for having me.
SHELLEY. I’m so excited to have you, you know Beth you’re a friend and we’ve, you know just been through a lot together but I’m so, I’m so thankful that you’re willing to share your story today. And Beth experienced abuse in her childhood until she left home at age 17. The abuse colored everything in her life resulting in many broken pieces. You know there’s so many things we just don’t understand this side of heaven. And you know she was looking for love, authentic love and found that in Jesus Christ and now His love and forgiveness colors all she does and today Beth is going to share her powerful story with us.
So Beth as we get started, why don’t you just start off sharing what the broken crayon looked like in your life.
BETH. Thanks for having me Shelley, I love the title of this and I love the idea for broken crayons. I believe all us are broken in some way in our lives but I’ve been through a lot, the physical abuse affected me the way it colored my life was I never felt loved. I never felt accepted and I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I never felt I belong or fit anywhere. And it manifested in different ways in my life, I was, as you mention earlier looking for love in all the wrong places that sounds so cliché but it’s really true, it was really true for me. And I went from man to man, relationship to relationship and I went to that getting pregnant three different times, had three abortions. I went to adulterous affairs, I tried alcohol and drugs just a lot of pain and a lot of brokenness trying to fill that emptiness that dark hole inside of me.
And it’s really oh my Jesus that has been able to fill up me like that. That dark hole, that empty place.
SHELLEY. Wow, and you are just a bright and shinning light now, you speak, you have books, I mean it is amazing what God is doing in your life I would have never imagined. Now you said you know you grew up with sexual and physical abuse, you know until you left home. What do you think was like your lowest point?
BETH. The lowest, that itself affected everything in my life and impacted the rest of my life even as an adult. But one of the lowest point of my life as an adult, I described it in my memoir “promises in the door” which is at amazon and I described it in that first chapter, I had gone to a hospital as a voluntary patient and one of the technician’s there who was a sexual predator preyed on me, I was his next target. He had already preyed on women sexually before.
SHELLEY. Oh no
BETH. And I described it on my book, that he targeted me and he had sex with me twice, it almost destroyed my sanity, almost destroyed my marriage and ran I later sued the hospital for negligent chair. That was negligent care, that was my lowest point that was my rock bottom moment because I had been abused again, the enemy was coming after me.
SHELLEY. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Yeah, I used to work in a hospital and I’m like Oh I can’t believe it that happened.
BETH. Right, but out of that God’s did want a healing in my life, I don’t know if you ever seen Mel Gibson’s maybe the passion?
BETH. Of the Christ.
BETH. And when Jesus was being crucified they should that part where they were nailing His hands unto the cross and Jesus was just screaming and agony from the pain and you see Him being nailed and that’s what Jesus’s has done for you and me. He has hammer and you can just hear the sickening thud in that movie, you can see it of the flesh being ripped that what has Jesus’s has done for you and me as He hammered that shame unto the cross so that we no longer have to carry it, and we no longer have to carry that pain.
SHELLEY. And I love that visual just our shame being hammered to that cross because especially when it comes to sexual issues and you know I had an instance of sexual abuse it wasn’t on going and I dealt with sexual addiction on pornography so I understand the shame. And you know a lot of people don’t talk about it.
SHELLEY. A lot of people just walk around with the shame.
SHELLEY. And what do you think was the turning point for you?
BETH. The turning point for that event was when I came home and my family and friends rallied around me and showed me the agape love of God. And you know when Jesus nailed that shame on the cross, He said that’s finished.
SHELLEY. Oh yeah
BETH. So that we don’t have to, we don’t have to carry it. Set me free.
SHELLEY. Yeah, I mean that’s powerful too that you had the community of Christ, people that rallied around you supported you and you know ultimately Christ has come in to set you free and, you know for someone who might be in a situation that really had extensive abused you know has a lot of regrets from their past, you mentioned you had three abortions and you know you had another instance of abuse and there’s just been so much that’s going on like what if someone’s like is listening right now and there going through something like that right now like what would you, what would you say to them as far as you know what, what would you recommend or what advice and encouragement would you give them?
BETH. I would let them know that to solve their past that abuse is not their identity.
BETH. Because, that is what really satan is after is our identity and our purpose from God and it does not define you and to know that God love you so deeply and no matter what other people are doing to you or saying about you and He has a unique plan and purpose for your life and He can take those broken pieces of your life just like the stain glass window and put them together and make it a beautiful picture out of it, a story for His glory, and so I would encouraged that person that God loves you and that you have great value in Him.
SHELLEY. I think someone just needed to hear that right now like I’m about ready to cry (LOL) because somebody needs to hear that your past does not define you. It does not define you. Now do you still have moments that the enemy tries to bring things back up like are you still like you know, are you still working through it, are you still walking through it?
BETH. I’ve come a long way, God’s done amazing healing and restoration in my life, there are moments because satan never stops.
BETH. And so yeah it’s a pro, I think we’re a lifelong, it’s a lifelong progress but God is good and He’s so faithful and I just encouraged them to hang on to Jesus and He will get you to where you need to go.
SHELLEY. Now during all of these, and you know you have so much that happening in your life is there’s a specific verse that has really minister to you or that’s really spoken to you?
BETH. Yes. In 1989 in Atlanta, Kansas I was in the middle of suicidal depression, panic attacks, nightmares just all my abuse, all those memories and I open the bible to Isaiah 61 and God spoke to my heart in His still small voice and He said, Beth this is what I’ve called you to do and be. And I won’t read the whole scripture but it was Isaiah 61:1-3, its really the whole chapter but I’ll just read those verses real quick if that’s okay Shelley?
SHELLEY. Yes. Please do.
BETH. “The spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings to the poor. He has sent me to heal the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they maybe called trees of righteousness, the planning of the Lord that He maybe glorified.”
And when God gave me that verse I thought, God how on earth, how can this be possible coz’ how can I help set captives free if I’m a captive and yet God has done that healing work in my life, and He has used my abused and all the painful things in my life to help set other people free. He used my testimony to encourage and help heal them.
SHELLEY. Oh yeah, I mean you, we can probably talk for hours. (LOL)
SHELLEY. You know you have so much to share, and so much that’s you know I mean you’re very prolific, you have a lot of books so if you’re interested you know definitely you check out Beth’s books but if somebody wants to connect with you or ask you to come speak to an event or to share, how do they find you online?
BETH. You can go to my website at bethjones.net and my amazon author page where I have 14 books and partially and thanks to Shelley’s helped me so much for my books. It’s amazon.com/author/bethmjones.
SHELLEY. Yes, and definitely check her out, check out her books. And Beth thank you so much for your willingness to share, for your willingness to be vulnerable, for your willingness and courage to just be a light, you know in the darkness because so many people I know can relate to some part of your stories so thank you.
BETH. Thank you so much Shelley.
SHELLEY. And in closing, you know Beth is just an example of how God can turn our mess into a masterpiece.
BETH. Yes, God loves you so deeply and He has that unique plan and purpose for your life and He can take those broken pieces of your life and used them for, used them for His glory just like a stain glass window. And I believe yes I am a masterpiece made in God the father’s image.
SHELLEY. Amen. Well I pray you were blessed through this interview, I pray that you were inspired not just encouragement inspired but that the Holy Spirit really impacted your heart. And, if you have a story or you know someone else that has a story that could be feature on this podcast please apply at shelleyhitz.com/story and we will see you next time. Bye!
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