When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

not good enough

We all have those days. You know…the days when we just don’t feel good enough.

I’ve talked to several people lately that told me “I could never be an author and do what you’re doing.” I understand the process of writing and publishing a book may seem overwhelming to you right now.  However, with the right tools, team, and system; I believe anyone can write a book, especially a short nonfiction Kindle book.

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

Many times the negative thoughts in our mind hold us back from sharing our expertise, our knowledge, or our message with those who need it the most.

In fact, one of my colleagues recently told me the reason he hasn’t published his book yet (and it is finished, by the way) is due to  negative thoughts in his mind. My mom calls it stinkin’ thinkin’. For him, he keeps hearing the voice of his dad telling him he will never amount to anything and is not good enough.

Whatever those stinkin’ thinkin’ thoughts are for you, I want to let you know right now that I believe in you. I really do. I believe God has gifted each one of us with gifts to share with others. They’re not to be hidden but we are to let our gifts shine.

A Change of Perspective

One of the best ways I know to change my thinking and perspective is through the practice of gratitude. I took a gratitude challenge in 2012, but recently started a gratitude journal again. I try to write out at least three things every day I’m grateful for in my journal. It’s amazing how gratitude can change your perspective.

gratitude journal

I’m not saying it will be easy.  But like pulling up weeds out of a garden and replacing them with flowers, we sometimes need to make an intentional effort to plant thoughts into our minds that will help us reach our full potential. It reminds me of this advice from Paul in Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

I also understand some people will need help at a deeper level.  I get that.  I have had to walk through some intense seasons of grief, forgiveness, healing, etc. at different times in my life.

Sometimes We Face Resistance

Some people may look at my life and think everything is wonderful. However, if you have followed me very long, you know I have had my share of struggles. My life is pretty much an open book. I share very openly and honestly because I want both my successes and my struggles to help others.

I set some BIG goals for 2015. My burning desire is to help business owners, speakers, ministry leaders, etc. get their message to more people and grow their business using Kindle publishing and online marketing.  I plan to do this with my new brand, Author Audience.

As I step out in greater ways, I feel resistance. I believe some of it is simply from my own thoughts, but I also believe some of it is a spiritual battle.

Feeling Invisible

This weekend I was struggling with not feeling good enough AND feeling invisible.

Yep, there were at least four times this weekend when I felt invisible to those physically around me. I’m not going to go into the details, but I’ll simply say it happened four different times within 24 hours.  And it was making me wonder what was going on.

On top of that, I was struggling with not feeling good enough in the area of athletics – specifically running.

My husband is a competitive runner and in 2014 I decided to set some big goals regarding running. I am not a natural athlete and had to work very hard to reach my goals. My biggest goal was to finish the Pike’s Peak Ascent in August of last year and I did it!

However since that time I haven’t been able to stay very motivated with my exercise. I had a 5K race today I signed up for months ago and honestly I was dreading it.  Although I have been walking and hiking, I haven’t ran for several weeks and I knew I wasn’t going to run very fast.

I thought about not running the race, but decided to make the best of it.

I had fun dressing up (fun socks for the win!) and was able to see a lot of my running friends today. It wasn’t my best performance but it wasn’t my worst either.  In the end, I was really glad I didn’t let my insecurities keep me from participating today.

shelley hitz running

The Same Can Be True for Anything in Life

It is so easy to miss out on opportunities that comes our way due to our stinkin’ thinkin’.  I know many business owners that are missing out on the huge opportunity to connect with their audience through Kindle publishing because they THINK they aren’t a writer or author.  I didn’t think I was a writer either.  And yet, I recently finished my 36th nonfiction book!

In regards to running, I realize that although I can participate in races, it’s NOT one of my strengths. What ends up happening is I compare my weakness to someone else’s strength. Or like Carrie Wilkerson says, “don’t measure your bloopers next to someone else’s highlight reel.”

In the last six months, I was introduced to the Strength Finder test and I really like their perspective. They talk about focusing on your strengths instead of trying to improve your weaknesses.

Tip:  If you purchase the book, you’ll get a code to take the test for free.  I recommend it.

I was thinking about this concept as I was running in the race today. Even when I was training and at my peak ability, I never earned an age group award in a race.  This is partly due to the highly competitive running community that exists here in Colorado Springs. But it is partly due to the fact that athletics is not one of my primary strengths. So even when I gave 200% effort into my training, I was still not that good.

However, I have other strengths like teaching, speaking, writing, marketing, networking, etc. Therefore, this year I am choosing to focus on my strengths, instead of trying to improve my weaknesses.  I believe there is still value in working on our weaknesses, but I wonder what would happen if each one of us put more energy into letting our strengths shine?

Summary

  • We all struggle with stinkin’ thinkin’ at some point in our lives.
  • Gratitude is a powerful way to change our thinking and our perspective.
  • It’s easy to compare our blooper reel with someone else’s highlight reel.
  • Consider spending more time focusing on your strengths instead of trying to improve your weaknesses.
  • And finally, remember that you were created with gifts that are meant to SHINE!

How have you dealt with the stinkin’ thinkin’ in your life?  Have you experienced the power of gratitude in your life?  Share in the comments below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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8 thoughts on “When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

  1. Something that you have a strength in can be unpolished and not at it’s best. I never ever thought I could write a book. Now I have written three. I also have a blog and write regular blog posts on it. I am finding that writing is coming easier (even though I am a bit of a perfectionistic and edit it a number of times). One of the best things I have done is to trust God with this gift he gave me and ask for his help. Also, to ask for the help of others. I have learned so much from Shelley – things that would have seemed almost impossible to do on my own. Now once I have learned I am doing them myself. That gives me confidence to write more and to branch out into a few other new things. Our attitude is surely important, but support of others (who know more than we do) is an enormous help. Thanks Shelley for all your good help and encouragement on your website and blogs!

  2. I hear you about feeling invisible. I’m a strong introvert and I excel at invisibility, but being invisible all the time is very lonely. Too often I let my insecurities keep me from doing things to connect with others. It’s inspiring to see how you overcame your insecurities and went running anyway.