Welcome back to the Broken Crayons Still Color podcast! I’m your host, Shelley Hitz and today’s guest is Anita Patrick.
Anita’s story started out when she was sexually abused by a family member at the age of 4-5. She grew up with alcoholic parents and her mother died when she was 14. She found herself in unhealthy relationships, 2 abortions, pregnant out of wedlock, multiple marriages searching for that missing piece to fill the void. It was wasn’t until she accepted an invitation from her son and his friend to attend Stonebridge church. She met a beautiful soul and friend, Gwen who introduced her to Jesus. It was then that her journey towards healing and wholeness began through various ministries, counseling, healing groups and mentorship. God has done an amazing work in her life and her journey continues. She has now found the missing piece…it is in Jesus Christ where she has found her worth. No more shame. No more condemnation. No more guilt. She has been set free and will share her story in today’s episode.
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SHELLEY. Welcome back to the Broken Crayons Still Color podcast! I’m your host, Shelley Hitz and today’s guest is Anita Patrick. Welcome! Anita.
ANITA. Thank you Shelley, I’m so honored to be here.
SHELLEY. And I’m just going to share a little bit about your story as we get started and then we will dive right in. But Anita story started out when she was sexually abused by a family member at the age of 4 to 5, now that’s just so hard to even imagine – but she grew up with alcoholic parents and her mother died when she was 14, she found herself in unhealthy relationships to abortion, pregnancy out of wedlock, multiple marriages searching for the missing piece to fill the void.
And I’m going to get a little emotional here because she said it wasn’t until she accepted an invitation from her son and his friends to attend Stonebridge church and she met a beautiful soul and friend, Gwen and Gwen happens to be my mom – and I remember, I remember this. When she met Gwen, Gwen introduced her to Jesus. It was then that her journey towards healing and wholeness begun through various ministries, counseling, healing groups and mentorship.
God has done an amazing work in her life and its just so amazing to watch you Anita just thinking about God is doing – and her journey continues. She has now found the missing piece…it is in Jesus Christ where she has found her worth. No more shame. No more condemnation. No more guilt. She has been set free and will share her story in today’s episode. Anita just to start off, your story has so many different parts to it but just share with us what the broken crayons in your life looked like.
ANITA. The broken crayons really looked like – just pieces of a broken family or home trying to search for normal, finding myself always comparing my family to other family then wondering if other family were the same as my family. That shame of never wanting to have your friends come and spend the night because you didn’t know if your mom and dad were going to be fighting or if your mother was going to be drunk – the broken pieces there’s a lot of broken pieces. They started from the time I was a young child – was a sexual abused from a family member but it wasn’t until later on in life that I really fully came to understand that it truly did exists because it was pushed down and it was never talked about and it was always – it was never dealt with, it was never brought in to the light, it was never – it was just who it was.
And then to pick up the pieces after my mother died. To go back to just watch my mother in the state of her drunken stupor as far as one she would binge that was heart wrenching, that was horrible as a child and then to take on the role of a mother at the age of 14 and then to come back home and help raise my younger sister after I’ve spent two years in school and then finding myself just searching for something to fulfill me to make me feel worth worthy or valued or loved and it wasn’t until like you said an invitation to a church. I was raised catholic and never really knew about a personal relationship with Jesus until I met Gwen and she introduced me to my savior, to truly has – redeemed me.
SHELLEY. Yes, and that’s for sure has been your turning point, I mean there’s layers upon layers I talked about it as like they are layers of an onions (LOL). And God continues to work through the layers and I’m sure you’re continuing to work through the layers.
SHELLEY. But through all of that was there a specific moment that you can look back on and say that was my lowest point – was there any point like that?
ANITA. Yeah. My lowest point was – it was tividal and it was, I was in my second marriage and I remember it because I didn’t want another failed marriage and he was not a believer and he didn’t want to go to counselling or any of that and I was just very very low. I was like okay this is my second failed marriage I didn’t want it and then it was like bam! It was like Gwen was there the right time, Jesus was there it was like that invitation I’m sure was always there but the moment that tividal moment was I need something in my life because obviously I wasn’t making the right choices or my life which I thought I could control and really I had no control I was out of control.
And it was at that moment that tividal moment when I accepted Jesus that things started to changed for me.
SHELLEY. Yeah, and I’ve noticed in just interviewing others that there seems to be a common thread of control when we’ve had trauma or abused or things that in young age. I don’t know I just think there’s that tendency then to want to go towards control and to go towards controlling our environment and I don’t know if its to protection to not be hurt or what it is. But what are some of the lessons that God has taught you over the last few years as He has begun to bring healing in to your life, has there been any particular lessons or advise or encouragement that you’d want to share with others?
ANITA. Yeah, the first thing that comes to my mind is just to truly to wait and I’ve really had hard time with that because I’ve always been an instinct gratification person and I’ve always wanted things now and even in relationships or material things. And to wait on God and to trust that’s He knows what’s best for me even though it may not be what I want or where am at in my life, He’s truly in-charge and to trust Him – to truly trust that everything that I experienced He was there with me and I know that now.
He was there and He allowed it for good so we can take all that brokenness and we can either be resentful or bitter or we can choose to let that help us to encourage others to use it for good and that’s been heeded from me and not to be afraid to share my story, not to be embarrass by it or to feel shame by it like I used to that when its in the light the enemy has no more power and when its in the light that’s when you can help others and it can be use to help others.
SHELLEY. Yes! and I just love that, I love that you are willing to share because there is someone listening right now that can relate. There someone right now that my story may not connect with them like your story well and so as we share our stories our testimonies – the bible says in Revelation we over come by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and so its so powerful to be able to share but the enemy wants to keep us locked up in shame.
SHELLEY. And through the process and as you’re continuing the heal has there been a scripture that God has really given you to encourage you?
ANITA. Jeremiah 29:11 is huge for me. “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper, to provide a future and a hope for me” and I know that His plan is good and all of this is part of the plan and it won’t be wasted.
SHELLEY. He never wastes anything.
ANITA. No. Not at all. Hello?
SHELLEY. Go ahead.
ANITA. I was just saying that I’m hoping that there is someone listening to this that they will be encouraged by the fact that there’s nothing that he can’t use for good.
SHELLEY. Yes! And I always hold on to that verse I think its in Genesis 50 where Joseph, he had went through all those trials and his brothers have done all those things to try to kill him and harm him and he said you intended to harm me, talking to his brothers but he said that God has using it for good for the saving of many lives and I get teary eyed every time I think about that verse because I know God has done that in my life and now He’s doing that in your life and He’s using what the enemy intended to harm us to steal, kill and destroy – God can use it for His good for the saving of lives in the spiritual realm and so I just really appreciate you telling your story.
I know that your story is just one more example of how God can turn our messes into masterpieces.
ANITA. Absolutely. Absolutely, yeah it’s a journey – its been a journey, its not always easy but its better than the alternative.
SHELLEY. Yes! And God is able to bring hope into those dark dark places and so we just have to keep holding on to Him and trusting like you said. Such trust that lead us to the next step and so thank you so much for sharing your story and if somebody connected with you and with what you share, is there a way for them to find you or connect with you online?
ANITA. They could find me either through Facebook or my email address. I guess I would share my email address email@example.com.
SHELLEY. firstname.lastname@example.org or you can find her on Facebook. And I just really appreciate every single one of you that are listening in today. Pray that this was just an inspiration to you and an encouragement to you that even in your darkest moment God is there and He is able to take your broken crayons and create a masterpiece.
If you are someone you know has a powerful story to share I would love to have you on this podcast, you can apply to be featured at shelleyhitz.com/stories. Thanks again Anita I will see everyone next time bye!
ANITA. Thanks Shelley, bye!
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